Sunday, 4 May 2014

Making long distance relationships work.


As of february, i am now in a long distance relationship. This relationship isn't new, It's one I've been in for over 2 and a half years, but going long distance is not an easy thing. I know a lot of people are in long distance relationships, so i wanted to discuss it and give a little bit of advice.

When in a long distance relationships its easy to dwell on the fact that you can't see your partner as much as you would like, especially if like me they've moved or you've moved and you have to go from seeing them multiple times a week to once or twice a month. The thing to remember is that although you don't get to see them as much, it will make the time you do spend together extra special and enjoyable. Instead of dwelling on the fact that i miss him, i try and just look forward to the next time i get to see him, keeping myself busy in the meantime and planning fun things for us to do. Chatting to each other about fun activities you can do when you see each other, whether its simply having a movie night, going for a walk or going out for dinner can really make the time apart seem a lot less rubbish. Plan a holiday if you've got the money! If you spend your time together practically ignoring each other, on your computers or phones rather than making the most of the time you have, it will make you much less happy and fulfilled from the time you've had together. Saying that though, don't have your hopes set too high, as expecting too much will make you enjoy the simple things like watching a movie together much less exciting.

As i touched on just now, i think forgetting about technology whilst your together is really important. When i see my boyfriend i like to put my phone in my bag and just forget about it, and i make sure he doesn't just sit on his computer. Although i can't help taking food snaps for instagram! Technology can really get in the way, especially as i spend most of my time on instagram and twitter, so apart from the fact that it means you get to spend proper time together, its actually nice to have a break from it for once!

Another thing which is really hard about long distance relationships is the lack of intimacy. Now that doesn't just have to mean in the more...explicit sense of the word, but simply not being able to hold hands, cuddle up, or have a smooch is really quite upsetting. If you've had a bad day, being able to have a cuddle on the sofa can make things a whole lot better, but unfortunately thats not something you can do if your other half is hundreds of miles away! Phonecalls, FaceTime and Skype will be your best friend in these situations, as actually seeing them or hearing them voice is quite comforting in itself. Sending each other photos of a yummy meal you've had, or just ridiculous faces can make the distance seem a lot less, and can really perk up your day.

If you live at home, i also think that getting away together can be a great thing to do. Whether its only for one night, a weekend or a week. Spending some time alone together without having to think about family or friends can really improve the relationship, and means that when you do have to part, you know that you've had a great time just you and them and have memories to look back on. Hey, you may even get sick of them towards the end of it and be happy for some time alone for a while! Whatever it is, making the most of the time you do get to spend together is key in making things work.

Another thing i'd say is that its really important to spend time with friends and get some hobbies when in a long distance relationships. Now, i'm known for being a homebody and favouring a night in watching youtube videos and eating popcorn over going out into the big wide world, but i myself am definitely going to make an effort to do a lot more with my time, as it can be easy to just get caught up in the internet and find yourself bored half the time from lack of things to do! Blogging has really helped to keep me busy and give me something to do when i would otherwise be wishing i was with my boyfriend.

It takes a lot of commitment to be in a long distance relationship, and although it may be hard and it may make you question if you can deal with it, you can. Put in the work and you'll get so much out of it. I've slowly got into a routine where i can completely forget about everything else, college, blogging, work etc whilst i'm with him and just treasure the time, and now its not really that bad at all and i'm pretty used to the situation! Would i rather he lived closer? Of course! But i know its for a reason and everything will work out peachy in the end. I've not been in a long distance relationship for the longest of time, so if anyone else has any advice then please do share :)
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